Sunday, November 17, 2013

A hundred pictures of Jesus and a stash of gay porn; Grampa's secrets revealed

The dude's been dead for 30 years, so where-ever he reads this blog I'm sure he's having a good laugh.

We're loading up my truck with basement detritus when one of the cousins comes out with a stack of magazines. "I didn't know they had naked wrestling in the Olympics."

I took a look.

Whoa! They might call it wrestling, honey, but that ain't the Olympics...

I've never been much of a porn consumer, gay or otherwise, but I'm guessing nude wrestling magazines from the 40's and 50's would attract a decent dollar in the collector market. Way more than the old Time and Life magazines.

Crazy how you can walk through the remnants of an up-standing citizen's life when they're gone and discover that they were way more than you thought. Bernie was indeed a respected and upstanding citizen. He was also a gay porn aficionado. And somebody in that house had a very healthy appetite for pills and booze...

But enough about that.

Bernie comes alive in that nursing home. In fact, it took mere weeks to find a new love! That revelation was initially received with good humour by the extended family. "Oh how lovely that he has some companionship in his twilight years" and all that sort of thing.

Then he bought the bitch a thousand dollar fur coat!..

WELL HOLY THUNDERIN' JEEZUS IF THAT WASN'T THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

She was obviously a tramp and a gold-digger and by God if this was gonna be the way he carries on there would not be a red cent left over for anybody when the old coot kicked the bucket!

Unfortunately the last months of Grampa Bernie's life were consumed with frantic family desperately running interference between him and the gold-digger.

He dropped dead half way through a Leafs game on CBC one Saturday night.

As many of us wish we could when the Leafs are playing on Saturday night.

I suppose you could say his dreams came true!

In spite of the machinations of his heirs, the new gal got to keep the coat.

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