How does a train of 72 oil tank cars and 5 locomotives have a crew of exactly one?

It's called "efficiency," my friend.

And "Fast Eddie" Burkhardt is renowned the world over for the efficiency two-step he brings to the railroads that he and his hedge fund backers have "restructured" over the years.

Step one in a Burkhardt restructuring is to prune back that inevitably "bloated" workforce.

Step two; grind down the wages of those who remain.

After all, every dollar out of a worker's pay packet is another dollar for the dividend pool.