Tuesday, March 19, 2013

I'm too sexy for my yoga pants

Coupla weeks ago I decided to take up yoga. I'd heard a lot of good things. Tones your muscles. Tones your mind. Lowers the blood pressure and enhances the libido all at the same time.

So last time I was in the city I trotted into the Lululemon shop and picked up a pair of stretchy black yoga pants. They felt so damn good I wore 'em right outta the shop!

Must say I got some envious looks as I was sauntering up Queen Street. There's something about wearing yoga pants that boosts your confidence; gives yer strut a little extra swagger, if you know what I mean. It's something I never experienced while wearing my Big Bill coveralls.

Had an immediate impact on folks around me too. The Farm Manager just busts out laughing whenever she sees me wearing them. The lads at Jason's Pub let me play pool whenever I feel like it; don't even make me wait my turn.

And there's nothing like watching an afternoon of left turns from Bristol while lounging on the couch in your yoga pants, twisting the top off another Bud every ten laps. By the way, ever notice that a twist-off twists off to the left? Just like the Nascar guys only turn left?

What do you suppose that means?

Anyway, I'd pretty much decided to live the rest of my life in yoga pants. Was planning a trip to the city just to snag a couple more pairs.

Then this story hits me outta the blue. Lululemon takes their yoga pants, MY yoga pants, off the market.

Apparently you can see right through 'em... which makes me wonder what the lads at the pub were thinking?...

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