Saturday, January 12, 2013

AFRICOM announces Taliban will be hired to train Mali Army

That's some shocking news out of the Dark Continent. While the UN has given the thumbs up to a Mali intervention, conventional wisdom had that intervention coming no sooner than late 2013.

This delay was thought necessary to give the Nations of Virtue time to train up the Malian Army. While we have already trained them numerous times, (in fact the leader of the Mali coup, Captain Sanogo, was repeatedly sent to the US for advanced training by his government) more training was deemed in order.

Apparently the fact that the French Socialists have jumped the gun on this timetable has created a new urgency among other members of the Nations of Virtue. While it was originally anticipated that US, Canadian, French and British trainers would be involved, today's announcement by AFRICOM boss Bwana Ham dismissed those expectations.

"We've decided to award the training contract to the Taliban," said Ham. "Those Towelheads put the run to us over in Afghanistan. Guys in sandals and bedsheets with WWII weaponry defeated the most advanced militaries on earth. I think we need to give the Towelers their due."

Taliban trainers are expected to arrive in Bamako as soon as they manage to hijack some commercial airliners and divert them to Africa.

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