Fear and loathing at the old folks' home

Haven't seen my friend Heather for awhile. Heard she'd taken a job in the dining room at one of the local nursing homes, so when we met up the other day I wanted to quiz her all about it.

Among other things I guess I'm planning for my declining years.

So how's the job working out?

Oh God! I HATE it!

Why so?

Well, they're just nuts. I want to quit but they won't let me.

What do you mean?

Well every time I get up the courage to tell them I'm outta there they talk me into staying another couple of weeks.

What's so bad about it?

They're all friggin senile! They follow me around when I'm setting the tables in the dining room. They unset the tables faster than I can set them! And the other day, we're having yogurt for dessert, and... and before I could stop him, this elderly gentleman is stirring his yogurt....

Heather breaks into a hysterical half-laugh half-sob.

He's stirring the yogurt... WITH HIS PENIS!

Hmm...  I'm a pretty liberal guy but I'm thinking maybe I'll strike that place from my list.