Saturday, March 10, 2012

Rapture postponed indefinitely

Tell me it ain't so... Harold Camping has fessed up.

He got it wrong.

Camping is the guy who claimed that the Lord told him that The Rapture was going to happen last May 21.

May 21 came and went. No Rapture. Camping announced that somewhere between the Lord's lips and Camping's ear the message got mixed up. He was off by five months.

Five months came and went. Still no Rapture. Damn!

By then I'd lost faith in Camping, if not in the Lord. Mind you, he got me good the first time. Not that I was one of those dupes who sold all my stuff and sat on the front porch with my bags packed, waiting. But I did let the phone and electric bills slide more than I otherwise would have.

So now Camping admits he has no clue when the Rapture might be. He's going back to the Holy Scriptures for a thorough reread. And not a moment too soon; Camping is 90 years old. How much rereading does he have time for?

I've got a bit of friendly advice for Harold, and I hope he takes it in the spirit of brotherly love in which I intend it. Why not take a page out of Pat Robertson's hymnal and campaign for the legalization of marijuana instead of the end of the world?

Then both Reverends would be on board with that other Reverend, Wally Tucker. Wally and his Church of the Universe have been advocating for the decriminalization of the weed of wisdom for almost fifty years now.

Like Wally says, why hold your breath waiting for The Rapture when you can have a little bit of rapture every day!

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