Sunday, December 18, 2011

Panetta congratulates Libyans, promises long and difficult transition

Defense Secretary Leon Panetta paid a quick in-and-out visit to Tripoli under a massive security cordon yesterday.

Panetta offered the usual patronizing claptrap about how Libya is now in the hands of the Libyan people and that while the road to security and prosperity would be long and difficult, he had no doubts their dreams would come true.

Meanwhile, the Libyan people dream of getting to the market and back home without being shot or robbed by one of the hundreds of heavily armed militias that roam the country at will.

The militias applauded Panetta's speech.

"Truer words were never spoken" remarked one unidentified militiaman, "we are indeed the Libyan people. I'm feeling pretty darn secure already with this .50 cal machine gun me and my homies fixed to the back of our stolen Toyota here. And the prosperity is coming just as soon as our NATO pals unfreeze the hundred and fifty billion they're sitting on....

then it's sayonara Tripoli, hello Miami, baby!"

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