These real estate porn shows are all over the place.
House Hunters. House Hunters International. Property Virgins. Million dollar listing....
They're all the same and they all have the same message. If you're living happily within your means in that three bed one bath bungalow you bought twenty years ago in suburban Palookaville, YOU ARE A LOSER!
The winners are buying second homes in Costa Rica for half a million bucks. You're not? What's the matter with you?
These shows tend to follow a common template. Prosperous young couple, usually twenty or thirtyish, has six hundred thousand to spend on their first house or their vacation property or whatever. Quite often it's same-sex couples. In fact, you'll find far more same sex couples in these real estate porn shows than you'll find in the general population.
Then the host takes them through three possible purchases. The prosperous twenty-somethings will critique the paint color, the lack of an ocean view, or the fact that the kitchen is at least five years old and needs a hundred thousand dollar update. Then they go to the last commercial break with the words "which one will they choose?"
The suspense is palpable. Which one will they choose? You're sitting in your double-wide with the cement blocks holding in up at the corners, twenty year old Kenmore stove being the most modern appliance in your kitchen, hoping you don't get fired because you took a sick day last week, and you really really give a shit which one they choose?
You shouldn't, but you do. Because just like regular porn, real estate porn offers you an escape.
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